maybe you should try better and not just try more
and that’s what I’ve been doing all wrong
but on days like this
I feel sucked in and sunken in place
and I hate the way I look, how fat I feel
how ugly my face
and I spend time lying in bed
another beautiful sunny day
to spend entirely indoors
“sorry, I’m not free today.”
No people to see this face
thank goodness
and I watch tv and see beautiful successful people on display
and on social media, everyone is beautiful in their own quirky way
not me though, I’m un-lookable
especially today
and beauty is ugly crying in the bathroom alone
in its own quirky way
Eventually I have to eat right?
if I didn’t eat I would wither away
and lose the weight
and then I can’t be fat anymore and have to try again
and I need the food
the junky kind, its all I have to look forward to in life
a junky getting the temporary high
an unhappy soul that doesn’t want to exist but is not willing to die
put my cap on low on my face so there is nothing to see
venture outside
spend money then quickly get back to bed
and consume nothing that is good for me
I’ll try again tomorrow
I will shop for greens and make a healthy meal
go outside for a walk or run (haha)
call up a friend and chat. . .
and if I don’t do any of that
then I guess “I’ll just try again”
right?
and thats how i live my lie
Somesortofpoetry 